Love what is it all about? When you talk to different people they all have a different view of what is meant by this word and yet the one thing that many people will say is that you know the feeling when you have it, ye like that's helpful. I guess you can also love different people for different reasons which makes trying to understand it that bit more harder.
There are also so many different kinds of people out there. There are those who will use the word love so easily and then there are those like myself who do not. I mean I have trouble saying it to the closest of my friends and to even say it to them means that I have a great respect for them and I would never do anything to hurt them and I am very willing to do anything for them, but how do I know if they would do the same? I guess I don't. Still I can't help but feel that the reason I don't say it easily is because I'm not good at showing or sharing my feeling. Meh but that's just me I guess.
I also found out tonight why so many woman watch chick-flicks, which is kinda odd because the film I watched wasn't really much of a chick-flick but it did have certain mushy elements to it which could have been associated with a chick-flick. The film was "The diary of a crazy black woman" and sitting watching it made me think of the person I still have feeling for. Its crazy I mean in films, songs and on TV they portray love as being this easily found and kept thing, when really it appears to be very heard to find and keep.
I guess the feeling of absolute happiness is true and being together is so much fun and when they are no longer around they tend to be the only person on our minds whether it be during the day or at night. So what happens when it goes away no one really tends to say how you should feel or how long it takes to get over something like this.
Maybe I am being completely stupid and maybe the way I'm feeling right now isn't really. But the thing that I do know is when I was around a certain person I felt safe and I couldn't help but think that we fitted together really well and he always made me laugh and I could easily be my weird self around him, but perhaps I was imagining it yet again. Than I find out that he's is leaving and than I felt like my world had collapsed and the pain which came with it was something that I have never felt before. It feels like someone has taken a large part of my soul or even my heart as there is this massive whole there.
Now I have so many of my Friends telling me to forget about him and that the way I was feeling was nothing more than a crush. Perhaps they are right but how are we supposed to know. They are also trying to get me to see this guy but at this moment in time I really don't want to which they find hard to accept. I mean at the moment I feel broken and I need to get over this guy fully but I'm not sure how long that is going to take and I really don't want to do anything because I really don't want to hurt this guy as he is a friend.
So that's my rant of how I'm feeling right now, I guess in either a couple of months or years I may look back at this and think what the hell, but I guess only time will tell. So here is a quote of how I am feeling plus I think it's rather a good song.
"And now I'm shattered, from the chip in my heart, kept taking it till it broke. Oh how it hurts, felt it slipped from your hands, hit the ground and now it's shattered. I'm so shattered"
